Era obvio que algún día tenía que pasar. Si alguien ha puesto empeño a las canciones de amor con tanto ingenio como Los Campesinos!, esos fueron The Beautiful South, el tranquilo grupo que surgió del adios de los (ENORMES) Housemartins. Paul Heaton tenía el talentazo para escribir letras que el propio Gareth reconoce que le hicieron querer hacer canciones. Y por si hay duda, aquí os paso una listas de mis cinco títulos de amor favoritos de Beautiful South:

• 5. One Last Love Song
• 4. Hooligans Don’t Fall In Love
• 3. Tonight I Fancy Myself
• 2. I Love You (But You’re Boring) / I Hate You (But You’re Interesting)
• 1. Don’t Marry Her (Fuck Me)

Todo esto viene a costa de que Los Campesinos!, quienes por cierto estarán el 8 de septiembre en San Sebastián, acaban de hacer una versión de ese ‘I Love You (But You’re Boring)‘ que ocupa el compartido segundo puesto de la lista. La original es esta gozada que parece pasar por minitatura:

Y la de Los Campesinos!, esta otra (que llega vía Pitchfork):

Ah, ya que estamos, mis cinco fragmentos de letras de amor de Los Campesinos! son:

5. You’ll Need Those Fingers For Crossing

You worry a million raindrops’ll die with their last memory of you and I In a soft porn version of the end of the world I quake at the knees as my intentions unfurl You wrote a letter to God (“just in case”) you said, “I’m nothing if I’m not a pragmatist”. “You needn’t worry about us, we can look after ourselves, We have learnt not to rely on you or anyone else”.

4. We Are All Accelerated Readers

And I’m not Bonnie Tyler, and I’m not Toni Braxton
And this song is not gonna save your relationship

Oh no… shit!

And this sentimental movie marathon has taught us one thing
It’s the opposite of true love is as follows:
Reality!

3. You! Me! Dancing!

The beats, yeah, they were coming out the speakers And were winding up straight in your sneakers. And I’m dancing like every song he spins is bis or like Like all my dance heroes would if they existed. (…) Not sure if you mind if I dance with you, But I don’t think right now that you care about anything at all. And oh, if only there were clothes on the floor, I’d feel for certain I was bedroom dancing. (…) If there’s one thing that I could never confess, It’s that I can’t dance a single step.

2. Straight In At 101

I think we need more post-coital and less post-rock

Feels like the build-up takes forever but you never get me off

(…)

She never liked the wisdom I gave:

“Some people give themselves to religion

Some people give themselves to a cause

Some people give themselves to a lover

I have to give myself to goals”

1. Songs About Your Girlfriend

Songs I’ve written about your girlfriend

Are just psalms of spite since it came to an end

Songs I’ve written about your girlfriend

Are just killing time while my heart is on the mend

Cos I’ve never made her smile like that

And she never made me smile right back

Although I always made her purr like a cat

She said I never made her smile like that